The 17th of september I gave birth to a baby girl that probably will be named Taylor. She weighed 2650 grams and was 47 cm long. The birth lasted almost 3 days, and I actually thought I was going to die. But it is amazing what the body can endure, even without sleep and food for almost 50 hours.
Im going to write about my birth under My Story later. Where I also actually plan to write my story...later...hehe....
It is strange to have a little baby, have finally rested some and feel much better now, but the experience have brought on many and new thoughts. I cry a lot and imagine all kinds of terrible things that can happen to my close ones. I realize that I have been afraid of letting anyone in just because when you love someone that much, you get so voulnerable. And I struggle with being voulnerable. To look at her also makes me think of myself as a baby. Think of how anyone can see a small child as anything sexual. It makes me even more angry with what my father did to me. I cannot imagine hurting someone that helpless. But it also gave me the pleasure of my triumph. Im doing much better today, Im strong, I have my own little child whom will never experience to be failed at home. And he is dead! I find some kind of justice in this, even though I think he got off easy.
Now Im looking forward to my task of being a mom. But i still havent sung to her, not even when she was in my stomach. Singing to me has been sorrow and a way of healing myself. Now I am going to sing for joy, It will be a challenge. But i will try....soon...
I have uploaded the interview with Dagbladet and another from larm in 2003. And also the Dixi advertising i participateed in this spring. It is all under articles.
It is with great pleasure we can write these words for our brand new website!! It is unbelievable that the web has been updated. Everything is owed to a beautiful soul, Pål Leverton.
He had mercy on us after suggesting that maybe Unicorn could need a little touching up. We have wanted that for a long time, but not had any means to get it done.
But now it is here! And we hope you like the site as much as we do, we are so proud and look forward to hearing your opinion in the guestbook.
When it comes to the music, it will be a while before anything happens, since Tonje is having a baby. The due date is set to 17th of september and you will be updated more frequently now that everything looks so nice and tidy here :)
I would like to share my story with you as soon as I can write it down. Maybe already this summer. I would also like to share how I as a survivor of incest experience giving birth. But up until now everything has been very easy. No nausea or pain. It was a little uncomfortable when it started kicking, and that I couldn't control it, but it's easier now.
I still take therapy and it is progressing. But it never fails to amaze me how much work this is. This past. It still takes very little to keep me from sleep or make me real tired or stressed, so the body is not yet as ready to work as the mind.
I hope you all have a great summer, I will just relax and try to let my belly grow without a single worry...